Enough About Me…

I have spent many words describing my own process of healing so far. Today I would like to take a break to simply talk about her. If she wasn’t an incredible mom, wife, friend, sister… this wouldn’t be so hard, would it? So, the spotlight’s on her today.

My mom’s name was Glenda Anderson. She carried with her a strong sense of “ness” – here’s what it was made of:

She excelled in funny facedness, I was taught by the master.
She excelled in funny facedness, I was taught by the master.
Flip flops were on her toes year round. (She continued to refer to them as thongs, because she could.)
Flip flops were on her toes year round. (She continued to refer to them as thongs, because she could.)
She was this kind of Nana to her grandkids. She loved fiercly (and had an inner mamma bear to prove it.)
She was this kind of Nana to her grandkids. She loved fiercly (and had an inner mamma bear to prove it.)
She loved spending time in Hawaii.
She loved spending time in Hawaii.
She instilled in me the need to explore the world (starting with the great outdoors as a baby!)
She instilled in me a need to explore the world (starting in this camper as a baby :) )
Finger talking... Words were always accompanied by waving digits.
Finger talking… Words were always accompanied by waving digits.
She loved people, parties, laughing until she cried (or peed herself). She was an incredible my-house-is-your-house kind of host that still managed to maintained healthy boundaries and limits.
She loved people, parties, laughing until she cried (or peed herself). She was an incredible host who managed to balance an open door policy with healthy boundaries.

What else was Glenda”ness”?

She didn’t bother to change out of her small leopard-print nighty on Christmas mornings.

She always lost her colourfully patterned drug store reading glasses around the house, so she simply bought more. We still find pairs here and there.

She cried a good percentage of the time – out of love, sadness, happiness, anger… Whatever she was feeling, she let it roll down her face. A lesson in humility that I’m still learning.

She wasn’t afraid to say it. Whatever it was, wherever it was. I was embarrassed at times… and now I’m learning that it’s a brave display of self-respect and confidence to be able to do so.

She was incredibly proud of anything her children did.

She didn’t sit still unless it was in front of American Idol with a glass of Diet Coke and a bowl of popcorn.

She gave hugs that made people give in to feeling loved.

She wrote emails that were barely decipherable at times – trying to talk in short form; making up words and spelling. I cherish these in my email folder.

She loved Facebook and checked it every morning in her office, drugstore reading glasses sitting on the brim of her nose.

She teased the people you don’t think you are allowed to tease, and somehow gained their respect for it.

She sparked energy in people. (Example: Ambushing a group of my brother’s high school friends with water balloons.)

She hated getting her photo taken.

She cooked insanely delicious food.

She took care of people, almost to a fault. But I’m grateful for it.

Your “ness” is still here mom, I feel it.

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13 thoughts on “Enough About Me…

  1. I LOVED this post! What a beautiful tribute to your Mom and her “ness”. It makes me wish I could have known her. I lost my Mom three years ago in February, and there are so many things I miss about her every day. As daughters, we go on because we must, but life will never be the same without the unique, amazing mothers who loved us like no one ever will again.

  2. You have captured her so well – thanks for refreshing my memories
    – A few things from a friend perspective:
    a. she was forever loyal and kept confidences
    b. I have lost my social networker and miss her every day
    Road trips with Glenda were always a great adventure. I wonder if she would have ever told your dad about the time we needed to use an ax to chop away the sapling we drove over in the RV.

    1. I was hoping people would add more to the list! Thanks Pam. The axe story made me laugh. I know what a special friendship you two shared and I love to hear bits and pieces of it. XO

  3. Can we please make a Glend-ictionary? With all her made up words? That would make my year.

    I will add… how she would shake her head and roll her eyes at the same time, in the way that only Glenda would do, when she thought something was ridiculous (usually our antics!).

    Thanks for this post, I miss your mom so much, I think of her often. Thank you for keeping her alive through your writings!

  4. Beautiful post about your mum.
    I can say that I do understand the appreciation of ‘mum’ through the recent loss of my mum however every mother-daughter relationship is different as well as the timing and way of their death…
    What is important is that the connection we have to our mother is such a significant relationship in our lives no matter how ‘good’ or actualized it is/was.
    Having a daughter has taught me even more about what my mum was and did for me. All the best, Nathalie

    1. Thanks Nathalie, it’s really great to connect with you. I’ve read some of your story and am inspired by your strength of character. Thank you for reading and thank you for your words!

  5. You’ve brought your Mom to life for me, and you wrote with such human-ness detail that I wish I could have known her. The great writing is when you “go there” and then write it with your heart. And I got your pain, too.

    1. Thanks so much for your words Susan! A large part of this blog is about trying to convey the essence of who she was, I’m so glad this came across through my post. I always appreciate you stopping by, take care :)

  6. I just stumbled upon your blog when I was googling advice and comforting words when going through the loss of your mom. I’m currently experiencing that, my mom has not yet passed but is clinging to her last few days of life. She has battled courageously and resiliently against ovarian cancer that only was detected 4 months ago. My mom is like my sister and best friend, I could never imagine my life without her and now at 24 I’m having to and I feel overwhelmed and my emotions just can’t register. I’m really enjoying reading your blog, I guess I am trying to prepare myself if there is anyway to do that. This post in particular I can’t get over how similar your mom’s favourite things are to my mom’s. The cooking, pictures, hostessing, Facebook and caring to almost a fault (especially this one) they all brought a smile to my face because that sounds just like my mom. Your mom sounds like a wonderful lady and thank you for sharing your thoughts they will definitely help me through my journey. Karen

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