This is not a list… it is a brainstorm

Okay, if you haven’t figured it out, I don’t like lists. Well, that’s a lie… I live by lists in daily life. However I’m mostly allergic to “grief checklists”. That being said, I know that practicality is a huge help to many people and so I thought I would add a holiday post that errs on the practical side.

Help me in creating a collaboration of ideas about what you can do during the holidays to cope or remember. I will begin the brainstorm (it only looks like a list), and hope that you will help to grow it. Please leave your ideas and comments!

  •  Our first Christmas without mom, we put her stocking out with the rest of ours. It would have felt so off for one to be missing, I know I certainly wasn’t ready for that… We filled it with notes that we wrote to her during the day so it wasn’t empty.
  • On Thanksgiving, we set a plate for her and placed a candle on it – another way to fill the space that would otherwise be missing.
  • Our second Christmas we went to Hawaii. I personally found the change of pace extremely refreshing… It took away the direct reminders of how things had always been.

7 thoughts on “This is not a list… it is a brainstorm

  1. My brother and I are planning to go to a beach which is one of the last places we took our dad when he was well… its a way back to a happy memory when he could still walk, eat, live a little and a beach at christmas should be far enough from the routine to thwart all expectation..

  2. I’m not quite sure how we have coped during this holiday season but I hope you and your family were able to find some joy throughout the last few days. I don’t have anything worthwhile to contribute to your checklist right now but I will continue to brainstorm. Our loss was so recent that we’ve been too shellshocked to come up with anything different to do for the holiday but I will certainly be brainstorming for next year. This year felt so foreign and surreal but maybe together we can come up with something to make the holidays less painful next year.

    1. I hope the same to you! I’m sure things may have been quite a blur for you this year… I was definitely thinking about you and sending you thoughts of strength and peace. I hope it was the best it could be. XO

    1. That’s really great to hear. It’s very special that you could feel him near… though, you’re right about much inevitably being missed. Christmas for me this year was the best it has been since mom died. It was more than good. I have realized recently that I am starting to feel again, in particular the feeling that fills your stomach when you see something beautiful or sit in a room full of people who love you. I felt so grateful for the ability to understand these things over the holiday – it’s been so long. I feel filled with hope and happiness!

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